death by paper cut

{December 2, 2005}   life as a terminal illness again

me: so what do you think of my digital columbarium?

geek: well, it’s a good idea, but isn’t a blog already a columbarium of sorts?

me: it should say “deceased”

geek: what should say deceased?

me: because people will read it differently. i like the former idea better – engraved on the tablet. my grandma on the dad’s side was dealing with cancer. people like these know that their days are numbered. my grand dad on my dad’s side died in HK soon after we visited him he could move one of this hands, the rest were paralysed.

geek: that’s a long time. can’t imagine.

me: imagine if the hospice was wireless and he was blog savvy. he lived through WW2. married a prostitute. he had a son he never seen till he was all grown up 18 years later.

geek: would be very interesting.

me: yeh. maybe in my 2 months here, i’ll do up a blog for my grandma who’s living with us. she dictates, i blog in the 1st person. she never saw her husband after the arranged marriage till 8 years later – my grand dad left for singapore to manage his uncle’s charcoal business. they processed mangrove from indonesia. she felt cheated because she wasn’t told that he already had 2 sons from the 1st wife then deceased. maybe i should take up my own suggestion and take it that i might not see my grandma again when i leave. its like her days are numbered already. i feel like I’m mourning her death now, so that I can better treasure the time left. her 86th birthday party is this sunday.


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