death by paper cut











{December 17, 2005}   life as a terminal illness

i was watching il mare. its one of those movies where you as a reader is moved to plunge into the lives of the characters while they are being played out, to warn them of impending danger, so they the hero and heroine can end up together and live happily ever after.

il mare involves a death of the protagonist. but with the help of the mechanism of the movie, he is somewhat given another chance in life.

i think most movies play out the innate desire in all of us to succeed and to “find happiness”. the destruction of these ideals would then prompt us to reflect on the flaws and the blind spots in our reality, which can and should change in order to avoid our own impending doom. see changing lanes and crash.

the death of the protagonist in il mare and the grief the death inflicted, reminded me of what the geek once said. i paraphrase what he said to be; there will never be a happy ending because one of us might die before the other one day.

i wonder how my maternal grandmother dealt with the death of husband. was there love? the marriage was arranged in which my grandmother felt deceived because she didn’t know that she would resume duty as 2nd wife to care of the 1st wife’s sons.

i wonder how my paternal grandfather reacted to the death of his wife. she never saw him again after she was with child. she too was the 2nd wife. my grandfather returned to hong kong to continue the family line with his 1st wife after completing his stint at the british naval base in singapore. she was dying of cancer when he was already paralyzed from the neck down.

i can already feel the anguish in either one of my parents when one dies before the other, or for that matter my own anguish at the demise of my prospective partner.

we’re all headed for impending doom, so love and live while you can.

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