death by paper cut

{March 23, 2008}   high-definition

i’m neither here nor there. every time i stay back late for work, i tell myself that its a one-off-thing; that its worth the investment of time and effort put in now to be paid off later. but when i join the dots of these one-off-things, i notice a pattern not unlike the monotonous dull tone of a corpse’s (lack of) heartbeat. as a result, every time i miss the opportunity to start the routine that protects my time for self, i put off the important task of giving myself a sense of definition.

i’m also neither here nor there in my place of residence. my bills are forwarded to an address that i do not reside in, i live in a place where the grace period for squatting will run out eventually. i shift the blame to my financial status as the sole reason for not actively finding a place of my own, but is it just a convenient scape goat?

maybe i’m just running ahead of myself.

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